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Monday, May 1st, 2006
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9:39 pm
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I miss you.
Torture my soul
Darken my sky
Kill my body
I will survive
Pull my will
Bleed me dry
Hurt my heart
I'll never die
I am independiante
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| Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
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9:54 am
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So then there was Malia without a voice, a head cold and overworked... Yeah this is her life.
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| Sunday, April 16th, 2006
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5:34 am
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I don't know how to say all of this. So maybe I shouldn't. Yesterday was rather a let down. He still talks to her. I don't like that. But oh well. I have to get over it. But I can't get over the other one. She is my baby.I hold her when she cries. I'm the one who has never not trusted her and always believed in her. The one who knew it was wrong but let her make her own decisions. This hurts. I want her with me. I wanted to be with her. I am scared for her more than anything else. I need her to be okay. I need Keith. I need to be held. I'll never be as pretty. I'll never be beautiful as all that. I just was to be held. I want everything to right for once. I want a day where I knew everything is okay. That is what europe was like. It only was missing Keith. You have no idea what this feels like. Don't say your sorry. I don't want to hear it. I want things to be okay. You can't make them, unless you are Keith and Mandi. You never have been able to. So don't try or say anything because those are the two that can make it better, and i'm sorry but no one else can. so don't bother.
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| Saturday, April 15th, 2006
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4:06 am
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Wow... so europe=amazing.
Day1: my Keebler drops me off at the airport at like 6am [omiGAD] so Kendall and I wait in this HORRENDOUS line for the people in the airport to get their shit in gear because apparently 6am is busy for an airport.... no I don't know why so don't ask. Then Ken and I get through security and go to Starbucks... this is when the stalking began, even though no one knew it yet [p.s, the stalker=Josh, he stalks ken]. So then we went and hung out at the terminal. A14... don't ask me why I remember because I do not know. So finally we boarded the airplane and I ended up sitting next to mallory and the both of us ordered THE PRODUCERS!! Which is, btw, the funniest movie ever. I loved it. Mallory and I imitated Matthew Broderick screaming... yay! So then Kendall sat next to us and watched it and almost died along with us. When we got to the "Newport" [funny story that will be explained later] We didn't have much time but Kendall and I bought Chinese food and soda's and then we all got on the airplane and Kendall and I did a bit of seat switching and sat next to eachother and attempted to drug ourselves to sleep but, well, it didn't work. So we ended up doing a whole lot of trying to sleep and even more of it not working. Finally we arrived in Rome and went through semi-pathetic customs and then we were split up into "bus groups" and then into "chaperone groups" Kendall and my chaperone was Mrs. Nead... she was pretty much wonderful. As long as she knew where we were, she didn't care about anything else. What an effing wonderful lady. Anyways...
Day 2: Because Rome is day two. We rode the bus from the airport around Rome with out WONDERFUL tour DIRECTOR [not guide] and learned some basics about the city and walked around some. Went to that one fountain and the pantheon [omigad, cool pagan-made-into-christian building]. This is when I first met Chris. Hello Chris. Why did I meet Chris? well because darlings, Kendall is a ho. lol, no just kidding!!!!!
Because to put it in a short way, Kendall and Jake ended up liking eachother and Chris is Jake's best friend and buddy on the trip so if Kendall went somewhere then I had to as well. Not blaming her, Chris is one of the sweetest and coolest guys I know... now. lol. So we got back to the hotel and were wandering when lo and behold! there are Chris and Jake watching family guy, what do we do? Walk in as if it is our room, take over the bed and watch. Omigad, it's obvious. Then we had diner. Not so hot. But whatever. Then I went back to the hotel room and Kendall went to... Chris and Jake's room! Very good. hahaha, I am laughing pretty hard about this because I am a loser. Kendall rules, P.S.
Day3: Tour guide... omigad BORING. Richard our tour director is so much better. But we went through the colloseum, so I suppose it was worth it. No I lied.. IT WAS!!! The Vatican blew in my opinion but omigad lunch ruled the earth. We went to a little cafe and had the most delicious lunch. OMIGAD it was good. So then.. we got onto the bus again with our most wonderful bus driver Andrea [Pronounced On-Drey-UH] and we went around shopping which was pretty lame as well because I have found that unless Lex is sick... I don't particularly enjoy her company... that is just me though. Back at the hotel we ate diner and the other bus broke down so we missed them profusely... lol. And when they finally showed up there was this huge group of British girls from Manchester. OMIGAD were they annoying!! They were making fun of how we Americans always eat french fries... it was part of our meal, we didn't order it. And then THEY were served french fries and THAT shut them up real quicks. Brilliant. So then Ken and I ended up hanging out with Matt and Jake and Spencer and Chris... no I lied. Spencer and Matt and Kendall and Jake all hung out it the hallway and watched a movie... 40 yearold virgin. And I wasn't interested because you had to be three inches from the computer to hear it. So I sat with Chris and we chatted until it was nighty time. Then we went nighty. AND THE NEWPORT WEEFBEATER STORY!!! So I was really tired when we got back to the room and so I was looking through my bad to find my wifebeater and was semi upset because I couldn't find it so I screamed "Where the hell is my WEEFBEATER?!?" And ofcourse there was a dot dot dot and then everyone in the room laughed at me... it was brilliant. And then we were talking again about the New York Airport and I was like "Yeah, we didn't spend very much time at the newport." dotdotdot, laugh laugh laugh. Wow was I tired.
Day3: Driving. Yes. Ew, I know. We drove 3 1/2 hours to Assisi which was a blast. Kendall/Jake hung out with Chris and I and we totally went on an adventure. We like walked up this footpath to try and find a castle but ended up on a private road with a crazy lady witha dog and more hunting dogs further along.
must go, more later
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| Monday, April 3rd, 2006
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11:59 pm
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I think I am in love.
Keith is pretty much the bestest thing on the planet.
P.S. Europe is in 4 hours and 45 minutes.
How come daisys only smell bad when they are really big?
There is a daddy long leg with jaws the size of its body... i sleep with tape over my mouth and mummy tucked into my blanket now...
No choice but to love my keebler and to stay with him forever... sad?
...no not really.
I am going to miss him.................
cannot but help myself.
BEST MOVIE EVER?!?!?!?!?!?! TAKE THE LEAD WITH ANTONIO BANDERAS COMING OUT ON APRIL7th!!!!
pdotsdot: the soundtrack pretty much rules the universe as well. HORAY!!!!
Keith is adorable.
current mood:  yayness
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| Saturday, April 1st, 2006
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11:30 am
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Casey's kindness is enough to make the tears evaporate.
And Keith's love is enough to cure them.
Sometimes I think those boys are what makes it possible for me to wake up in the morning.
"She has the prettiest and most adorable smile in all the world, and yet she is still precious when she looks so sad like that."
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| Monday, March 6th, 2006
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9:21 pm
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Wanna know a secret? I AM SO VERY HAPPY!!! Horay for being happy. I love life at this very second. Wanna know how many hours I get next week? 32 EFFING HOURS!!! Thats right bitches, Malia found a jog she loves and it gives her hours and MULA! Wokka wokka. I am super effing excited.
AND GUESS WHAT TOMORROW IS?!?!?!?! AMANDA MARIE MARTINS FUCKING 17TH BIRTHDAY!!! YAY FOR MY LOVE!!! I wish I was turning 17. Damn. OoOoOoO well.I love her regardless. buwahahahahaak. [I meant to end that with a K] YAY FOR ME....
YAY! JUST YAY!
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| Sunday, March 5th, 2006
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9:34 am
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Heads you live, tails you die.
Don't tug the wire.
Practical Magic.
Sunset blindness.
I dont own emotion, I rent.
An emptiness that at times, seems to burn.
And I love my life.
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| Saturday, February 25th, 2006
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7:45 am
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Kendall called me last night... semi-mystery.Wokka wokka. Wish we could have gotten in touch. Surfuck.
Anythem, I went to sleep around 2am and woke up at 7.34am. Fucked up I know, especially since it is a SATURDAY ON MID WINTER BREAK! Lol, Keith was over until about 12. We just kind of hung out and danced.. haha. Yay for Keith and I. When I got home I worked on a couple things... speaking of which... I still have 2 homework assignments to work on. Well surfuck.
Anythem, I went running and now I am doing laundry and.. Well then I have to work at 12. Gee, bummer. NOT.
Super happy about Annie making schedules even though she is a dousche.
current mood:  isn't it cute?!
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| Friday, February 24th, 2006
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12:53 pm
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12:28 pm
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Heads you live..
..Tails you die
How many teenagers can truly say that they love everything about their lives and that they live each moment with no regrets?
At least one.
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| Monday, February 20th, 2006
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8:14 am
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Hahaha, I love Griffin sometimes. Some of the things he says will stick with me for the rest of my life I swear to god. Keith and Griffin and I decided we hate Chuck Norris Jokes because he is old and doesn't deserve to have jokes about him... and because he could kick almost anyones ass because he is JUDO MASTAH! buwahaha. I miss science now... only... not the learning part.
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8:09 am
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So I pretty much heart Jade. I worked yesterday... more than I was supposed to BY THE WAY!!! Which I am slightly upset about. And I think Keith may be slightly irritated with me because of it. I miss him already. It is really weird to have no one at all in my house. Nice but weird.
Sigh, I miss my Keebler. :-( teehee. Anywho. Reefer Madness rocks my snuffalufagus. Everyone else can suck my snuffalufagus.
I miss my Mandi too.
TAAAAAA dahlings
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| Sunday, February 19th, 2006
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7:04 am
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So life equals super. I heart my job and I am going to get a job at starbucks... you just wait. I WILL. Damnit. Lol. I am going to give out applications as soon as I print them out which is either today or tomorrow. I am sitting next to Keith right now. He is sleeping though. I love him... *sigh*
Sooo yesterday I worked at Factoria which was weird but cool. So yeeeah, AND GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
THERE IS A JAMBA MOVING INTO MAPLE VALLEY!!! And I talked to AnnMarie about it and she said she might bee able to transfer me or have our new manager transfer me to that one!!!
Speaking of my loverly manager... I am going to miss her.
She made me laugh so hard when I found out she was going to give the surf lessons. HAHA surflessons. Anyways, everyone must think I am crazy but all of this does have a double meaning. Rofl.
Mk I am off to do other things!!
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| Monday, February 13th, 2006
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1:27 pm
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I got myself a valentine for tomorrow. His name is Keith douglas Erickson and I freeking love him.
19HOURS THIS WEEK!!! PAID TOMORROW!!!! 12+14+19=45FUCKING HOURS!!! yusssss. Super excited.
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| Thursday, February 9th, 2006
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1:16 pm
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12:58 pm
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Sometimes I think she is the prettiest girl in the world...
...Then I remember that I am.
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12:55 pm
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And I offer no sympathy for that
It's better if I sparkle on my own
Could this week get ANY better? I mean... seriously.
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| Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
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10:18 pm
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To all of you who make believe you are important... you know who you are...
Well, it's been almost a year to the moment
When I finally realized it was over
And I knew that love wasn't good enough
Of a reason for me to stay
Well, I saw you yesterday; you were drivin'
And I tried so hard to forget
You were alive, and as you passed by I began to cry
Over things that I did not say
And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me
Yeah, yeah
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own
Well, it takes all of my strength to be stable
And I force your insults under the table
And if you were wise you would compromise
And allow me to live my way
'Cause I am not a force to be reckoned with
And you don't have a clue what you're messin' with
And you can't see to the best in me
'Cause it's more than your heart can take
And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me
I'm awakening me
I'm awakening me, yeah
I'm awakening me
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own
I'm takin' my heart and I'm settin' you free
And, baby, now you're just another song to me
And the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me
To bleed
Na na na na...
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10:09 pm
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It's not impossible for me not to care.
You know before you, I was there.
Sometimes I think you talk just to be noticed. I was there once, now I know I don't need anyone.
Keep talking about me, it's like constant entertainment to see what you come up with.
You forgot to care. I remembered I don't.
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